Laburo España: 250.000 ofertas de empleo

en el jardín botánico

En realidad, esto es sólo una prueba (sin fuego)porque no sé si el trabajo, la familia, los amigos y aledaños me dejarán un momento para bajar al jardín. Y además, si es que bajo, todos ellos vendrán conmigo. Porque este no es un jardín cerrado para pocos

Hermafroditas

1, 23 de 2005-10-23 de 2005
De vez en cuando, acostumbro a preguntar a los alumnos –para que piensen que es un acto natural- qué libro están leyendo o acaban de leer. Depende del aula y del alumno, ya me sé la respuesta:
(Betania) -¿Pa qué lo preguntas si ya te he dicho que en mi casa no hay ninguno?
(Miki Tollkien) –Estoy releyendo por quinta vez “El señor de los anillos”.
(Casi todos) –El que nos ha mandao la de catalán.
Algunas veces, ellos me devuelven la pregunta, y, aunque sé perfectamente que no responde a un interés real (sólo les mueve perder un ratico de clase), suelo entrar al trapo porque pudiera ser que les incite o porque sé que les encanta que les cuente historias.
El otro día me lo preguntaron en una clase y yo les conté que estaba releyendo El Quijote porque empiezo a hablar de él en Bachillerato y, además, acababa de comenzar un libro de Jeffrey Eugenides que se titulaba Middlesex y que lo había comprado porque había visto una película basada en una anterior novela suya (no la he leído), Las vírgenes suicidas, que me había gustado mucho. Aquí cometí un error: explicarles brevemente el argumento de la película. Quien tenga niños o alumnos adolescentes, me entenderá. Veinticinco voces a la vez: ¿por qué se suicidan? ¿a la madre la meten en la cárcel? “yo me voy de casa” ¿eso pasó de verdad? ¿estaban buenas? ¿cómo se matan? ¿y te lo has creído?.....
Para cortar la avalancha, como pude, les adelanté brevemente el argumento de Middlesex y les dije que explicaba la saga familiar del protagonista, un hermafrodita. Y aquí se hizo el silencio. Mis alumnos de ESO, tan poco duchos en eso del cultismo, sabían todos lo que era un hermafrodita. Bueno, lo de “sabían”, quizás no es exacto, pero todos tenían su propia teoría aproximada acerca del hermafroditismo. Y, claro, me la explicaron. Al principio, todos a la vez, luego, de uno en uno. Y, aunque yo había conseguido adelantarme y hablarles de la cuestión del fallo cromosómico de una forma científica a la par que divulgativa (dentro de lo que humildemente sé), asentían, pero me corregían casi cada uno con un ejemplo propio.
-Que no, seño, ¿sabes ese taller de motos del carrer Petit,? pues el dueño hizo la comunión vestido de niña.
-Dice mi madre, que en su pueblo había uno que primero fue marido y luego fue mujer.
-Hombre, dicen que todos somos un poco hermafroditas.
-Eso lo serás tú.
-Lo será tu madre que primero fue tu padre.
-Eso no existe, eso es una leyenda urbana, como lo del hombre-lobo.

Y no confundían el tema con el de los transexuales, no, y aunque se pusieran a hablar explícitamente de cuestiones genitales, como si el cultismo “hermafrodita” les hubiera contagiado, no se oyó ni “polla”, ni “coño”, decían “vulva” y “pene”. Y los que no hablaban, escuchaban a sus compañeros muertitos de curiosidad o negaban con la cabeza (¡Sí, hombre!)Y si no llega a sonar el timbre, aún estamos allí. Y si no les llego a decir que el libro tiene seiscientas páginas, estoy segura de que me piden la referencia.
Dos reflexiones, claro.
1. ¿Si en vez de redacciones sobre “el acoso escolar”, les mando una sobre los trastornos genéticos sexuales estarán más motivados para emplear un registro correcto?
2. ¿Qué pensaría yo como madre si me dicen que en clase de castellano hoy han hablado sobre cinco adolescentes suicidas y sobre los hermafroditas? Yo no pensaría nada, pero he repasado la lista y me ha aliviado comprobar que no hay ningún testigo de Jehová. También me alivia que cuando –no en todas las casas- les preguntan qué tal hoy en el instituto, invariablemente responden: “Bien” o “Gummpf”.


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    No puedo resistir pensar lo interesante que debió de ser la clase. Cuestiones aparte, yo creo que la respuesta a la pregunta de qué tal la clase hoy, seguro hubiera sido el socorrido "guay" o el más televisivo "qué fuerte, qué fuerte...".
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    Anda, llévate a Perico a clase un día.

  3. No te desesperes, he adivinado que el libro más leido en mi trabajo són las revistas de coches y ayer un compañero (con el mismo atractivo que el detective Colombo) afirmaba sonriendo que la mujer más inteligente es sin duda Bibiana Fernandez (bueno al menos no dijo La Veneno).

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